Monday, December 31, 2007
Voter ID goes to court--What would Freud do?
"Voter ID law heads to Supreme Court" reads a headline on the Associated Press website. The Supreme Court may also want to deal with Voter and candidate Ego and Superego too, a Re Lie Able Source told us. Maybe their ids are what they applied to Bush v. Gore--it sure wasn't precedent. But perhaps the Supreme Court of the US could help out the Kenyans who seem to have a tie and a lot of voting irregularities. They could apply that obscure Kenyan law "Whoever counts the votes wins."
Oh Rats!
The New York Times today points out there is a problem in New York City with rats climbing into car engines to keep warm in winter. The problem is becoming endemic in the city, and the rats do not discriminate between new Bentleys and old Kias.
The Republicans immediately blamed the rats in cars problem on Bill Clinton because--well, because they blame everything on Bill Clinton. Except for Huckabee, who found out they were Norwegian rats, and blamed it on the lack of a fence with Mexico. He might have quoted Robert Frost to the effect that good fences make good neighbors, except the quote doesn't come from the Bible so it's unlikely he knows it.
UPDATE--Over the weekend it was reported that Robert Frost's home was vandalized by a pack of drunken teenagers. Something there is that does love a National Historical Monument.
The Republicans immediately blamed the rats in cars problem on Bill Clinton because--well, because they blame everything on Bill Clinton. Except for Huckabee, who found out they were Norwegian rats, and blamed it on the lack of a fence with Mexico. He might have quoted Robert Frost to the effect that good fences make good neighbors, except the quote doesn't come from the Bible so it's unlikely he knows it.
UPDATE--Over the weekend it was reported that Robert Frost's home was vandalized by a pack of drunken teenagers. Something there is that does love a National Historical Monument.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Prophet to Profit from Prophesies
The Re Lie Able Source has spared no expense to hire the distinguished contemporary prophet Cosa Nostradamus to make some predictions for 2008. We asked him first about the Knicks and what their Coach Isiah Thomas can say to his players. "Your silver has become dross; your wine is diluted with water" is what he replied. Then we pointed out that he cribbed the words from another Prophet--Isiah in the Book of Isiah. Cosa pointed out that the copyright has long since expired, so it's in the public domain.
Keeping up With the Ghandis?
It has just been announced that Benazir Bhutto's son will be leading her party now. Up to now there have only been two generations of Bhuttos who lost their lives in politics. In India there were three generations of Ghandis assassinated, and you know how competitive the Indians and Pakistanis are. It's just another case of keeping up worth the Ghandis.
Coup?
This week none of the usual news anchors are on the network evening news shows. Have there been bloodless coups we haven't heard about? ..What if there is a tie in Iowa? Will the candidates go to court? "In case of a tie the decision of the judges will be final. The entry with the earliest postmark will win."
Con Test
Many people do not know the second or third verse of the national anthem "Thine Alabaster cities gleam undimmed by human tears") What are the second and third verses of Happy Birthday To You"? Answer on New Year's Day here).
Toasting the New Year Before it's Toast (Revised and Reposted)
THEY’RE RIOTING IN AFRICA
I guess I did not remember very well the tune of this song sung by the Kingston Trio in my youth (--which is actually called "The Merry Minuet" and was written by Sheldon Harnick). Like everything else the original words are available on the web.
New correct version--
(To be sung to that tune–with apologies to all involved).
They’re rioting in Africa.
In Kenya they’re mad.
There’s temples bombed in India.
Afghanistan’s sad.
Al Quaeda is in Iraq
With tactics absurd.
The Shiites hate the Sunnis,
The Sunnis hate the Kurds.
Hez-bollah hates Israel,
And Israel hates Hamas.
And I don't like the outrageous price of gas.
But we can be happy and sappy you see,
In HD on big screens there's reality.
And we can be certain come e-lection day
The prevailing candidate
Will solve all of it right away.
They're rioting in Pakistan
There's strife in Iraq.
But as the coming year unfolds
You'll want to have the old year back.
I guess I did not remember very well the tune of this song sung by the Kingston Trio in my youth (--which is actually called "The Merry Minuet" and was written by Sheldon Harnick). Like everything else the original words are available on the web.
New correct version--
(To be sung to that tune–with apologies to all involved).
They’re rioting in Africa.
In Kenya they’re mad.
There’s temples bombed in India.
Afghanistan’s sad.
Al Quaeda is in Iraq
With tactics absurd.
The Shiites hate the Sunnis,
The Sunnis hate the Kurds.
Hez-bollah hates Israel,
And Israel hates Hamas.
And I don't like the outrageous price of gas.
But we can be happy and sappy you see,
In HD on big screens there's reality.
And we can be certain come e-lection day
The prevailing candidate
Will solve all of it right away.
They're rioting in Pakistan
There's strife in Iraq.
But as the coming year unfolds
You'll want to have the old year back.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Saturday Night Post(ings)
Eats, Shoot & Leaves--isn't that the Dick Chaney story?...Why doesn't someone ask the candidates where they stand on controversial issues--like who should be in the BCS series? Ask them to choose who they're going to root for in the Championship. Come on candidates--lick the bowl games clean...One candidate way behind in the polls said he was "undeterred." At least that's what it sounded like--was it that, or undetoured, or maybe undie --ah, never mind.
RAUCOUS CAUCUS OR A VEGETATIVE STATE?
Does it seem that in the Hawkeye Cauci Iowa Caucuses (see *below) the more the Republicans see of their candidates the more "None of the Above" looks attractive to them; and the more the Democrats see of their candidates the more confused they are about who they like best? Are we in for a whole year of that?
Why does the political calendar start with Iowa? Because it's an agricultural (i.e. vegetative) state, and the political rhetoric are an important source of fertilizer for the year's crops. What better to grow corn with than politicos' sentiments of patriotism?
Last week Hillary Clinton was speaking at a livestock auction, and asked the audience members to look into her mouth. Next week she addresses a convention of proctologists.
One good thing to be said for the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary is they've kept Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani out of New York.
After the contest to see who could wish you a Merry Christmas best, are we in for who can wish you Happy New Year best, too? I'm waiting for the Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday greeting---but maybe certain candidates will just send a card.
The Republican strategy seems to be to deny that global warming exists until the ocean levels rise to cover over the blue states. Does it seem strange to you that the Republican states are called the "red states" when that term in the fifties meant Communist? Tail gunner Joe McCarthy must be turning over in his purgatory!
o0o o0o o0o o0o o0o
* Below--The plural of "caucus" is "caucuses" because the word is not of Latin origin. It entered our language from the Algonquian Indians' word meaning meeting of tribal leaders. Plurals in Algonquian were made by adding -aki, or _ari ; so the plural of "caucus" would be caucaki if the group itself were treated as an animate object or caucari if a group of people was treated as something that was not in itself animate. So it could be Hawkeye Caucaki after all. Since I do not know what "pat" means in Algonquian, I do not know what Gov. Pataki is the plural for in the language of the tribe that resides in the state that he governed. (According to a web site maintained by a Native American named Spotted Wolf , "pat" means "fish" in some native tongue, so there maybe something fishy in his name.)
The famous Algonquian Round Table could have been called a caucus, but the members may not have considered themselves as tribal leaders, but rather the critics of tribal leaders. This could lead to a fascinating discussion of "rump caucus"-- but it won't. I don't know why or where rumps caucus.
Why does the political calendar start with Iowa? Because it's an agricultural (i.e. vegetative) state, and the political rhetoric are an important source of fertilizer for the year's crops. What better to grow corn with than politicos' sentiments of patriotism?
Last week Hillary Clinton was speaking at a livestock auction, and asked the audience members to look into her mouth. Next week she addresses a convention of proctologists.
One good thing to be said for the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary is they've kept Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani out of New York.
After the contest to see who could wish you a Merry Christmas best, are we in for who can wish you Happy New Year best, too? I'm waiting for the Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday greeting---but maybe certain candidates will just send a card.
The Republican strategy seems to be to deny that global warming exists until the ocean levels rise to cover over the blue states. Does it seem strange to you that the Republican states are called the "red states" when that term in the fifties meant Communist? Tail gunner Joe McCarthy must be turning over in his purgatory!
o0o o0o o0o o0o o0o
* Below--The plural of "caucus" is "caucuses" because the word is not of Latin origin. It entered our language from the Algonquian Indians' word meaning meeting of tribal leaders. Plurals in Algonquian were made by adding -aki, or _ari ; so the plural of "caucus" would be caucaki if the group itself were treated as an animate object or caucari if a group of people was treated as something that was not in itself animate. So it could be Hawkeye Caucaki after all. Since I do not know what "pat" means in Algonquian, I do not know what Gov. Pataki is the plural for in the language of the tribe that resides in the state that he governed. (According to a web site maintained by a Native American named Spotted Wolf , "pat" means "fish" in some native tongue, so there maybe something fishy in his name.)
The famous Algonquian Round Table could have been called a caucus, but the members may not have considered themselves as tribal leaders, but rather the critics of tribal leaders. This could lead to a fascinating discussion of "rump caucus"-- but it won't. I don't know why or where rumps caucus.
Playing it Where it Lies For Saturday
The Pakistani government claims it has solved the whole mystery of the Bhutto assassination in just 24 hours. Fast--but it doesn't beat the record of Lt. Colombo (retired) who used to solve mysteries in an hour. (Lt. Colombo has retired to the capital of Sri Lanka, which retired "Ceylon.")
How could they know the whole story just 24 hours after the event? It's easy if you know the whole story 24 hours before the event. Has anyone checked to see if O.J. has an alibi?... Macy*s has announced that it will be closing seven stores. I guess they'll need to change their slogan to : "Macy*s--We're No Longer a Part of Your Life!"...In the "Hark, the Herald Devil Sings" Department, the Miami Herald has outsourced the editing of its copy about local news to a company in New Delhi. That's local news we're talking about, as in "Herold, there's a new deli on the corner." So remember guys, the word pronounced "Dell--ee" in Miami is spelled without the "h." As long as they can spell "drive by shooting" right they'll most likely be O.K. In the new, Thomas L. Friedman Flat World, all news, like all politics is local. As they say (locally) at Disneyland "It's a small world after all" (But I wouldn't want to paint it)...Clinton, Obama and Edwards all say they want change, but they're also willing to take folding money or checks.
How could they know the whole story just 24 hours after the event? It's easy if you know the whole story 24 hours before the event. Has anyone checked to see if O.J. has an alibi?... Macy*s has announced that it will be closing seven stores. I guess they'll need to change their slogan to : "Macy*s--We're No Longer a Part of Your Life!"...In the "Hark, the Herald Devil Sings" Department, the Miami Herald has outsourced the editing of its copy about local news to a company in New Delhi. That's local news we're talking about, as in "Herold, there's a new deli on the corner." So remember guys, the word pronounced "Dell--ee" in Miami is spelled without the "h." As long as they can spell "drive by shooting" right they'll most likely be O.K. In the new, Thomas L. Friedman Flat World, all news, like all politics is local. As they say (locally) at Disneyland "It's a small world after all" (But I wouldn't want to paint it)...Clinton, Obama and Edwards all say they want change, but they're also willing to take folding money or checks.
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