IN DEFENSE OF SILENT CLARENCE THOMAS

People have castigated Justice Clarence Thomas because he has asked no questions in court for two years, or roughly 730 "media years." He last asked a question from the bench on Feb. 22, 2006--when Rumsfeld was still running the war with optimism and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were rumored to be planning to wed--i.e., ancient times. This post is intended to defend his position. Justice Thomas, unlike many people who talk when they have nothing to say, spares us that situation. After all, he gets paid the same amount whether he asks questions or not, so there's no money in it for him as he has actually reminded us.
"Silence is golden" as the old saw goes, so why talk without remuneration? Justice Thomas makes money giving lecturers on the lecture tour, so why spoil the suspense of what you will say when there's cash on the barrel head by blabbering gratis? He got a cool million and a half for the book he wrote, which proves his silence strategy pay$ off.
And what would he say? Don't we know already? ("I'll have what Scalia's having?") He's written a book in which he appears to very bitter about his upbringing and his schooling, and if he were to prattle on about that we wouldn't want to hear it anyhoo, so he's saved us the annoyance. Remember the saing "Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"? It may come from this Bible verse at Proverbs 17:28 : Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise:

and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

Everyone knows Calvin Coolidge because he was silent Cal. Thomas will gain notoriety for being Silent Clarence. Can you recall any characteristic of Justice Harold Burton?

US to Invade Taiwan? (Batteries Not Included)

The US has definitely confirmed that Taiwan posessed the starter kits for weapons of mass destruction. They're fuses for the nose cones of nuclear tipped missiles that the US sent them by mistake when they ordered helicopter batteries.

Now that the Taiwanese (the irritating pebble in China's shoe) have weapons of mass destruction, the Bush administration will have to look at some preemptive strike against them. Or ask for them nose cones back. The batteries and the missiles are not alike in size and shape, and no one knows how this could happen (unless you ever ordered something from a company online and didn't get the thing you ordered). No one knows why the government wasn't aware it was missing highly classified weapons. No one knows why the recipients didn't just slap a Fed Ex return address sticker and send them back COD, either. The nose cones were placed in storage-- perhaps awaiting a glorious Chinese New Years when they'd make a big fireworks display.

No one knows why the Bush administration didn't use these guys(Fed Ex's brother, Fred Ex?) to ship missile parts to Iraq so they could find some there when they got there.
My theory is that they found jobs for all those dufasses they ousted from FEMA at obscure Defense Department warehouses in Wyoming and Utah-- far from New Orleans. What possible harm could they do there? The fuses that were sent were shipped in 2005 and not missed despite quarterly inventories. No one explained if the helicopters were grounded for three years waiting for the batteries either! This is a story with more questions than answers--and I expect the investigation will keep going, and going and going like the Energizer bunny.

It was just a simple, understandable error--ya want Tibet to bet? Maybe they thought the Taiwanese ordered a missile battery--the phone connnection was really bad.

A good deed that doesn't go unpunished.

A girl who stopped a runaway school bus full of elementary school children was given her just due by the School District--Saturday detention. It seems that the girl was supposed to be in school at the time and not hitching a ride home because she didn't feel well.
Maybe they'll give her a medal--while she's in detention.

The Great Debate

Lincoln and Douglas have nothing on the great Latkes v. Hamentashen debate. Which is the ultimate holiday food? There is a book on the subject, debated annually at the University of Chicago. One website (above) proposed these topics for discussion:

• Shape: Two hamantashen glued together to form one of the ultimate Jewish symbols – the Star of David. BUT The latke is the circle of life!
• Name: Hamentashen, stands for ears of Haman. "Would you like to eat the ears of the villain?" Latke is Yiddish for pancake - can you be more Jewish?
• Health: "The latke could be an easily banned substance in New York City" (trans fat ban)
• Popularity: "Citing Google, which returns an impressive 380,000 hits on a search for "latke" and only 62,000 for "hamantaschen"
• Literary: "But soft, what latke through yonder window breaks?"
• Materialist-Feminist (Penn): "For women, it is clear that hamentashen offer far more scope for self-realization, egalitarian relations, and social progress than do latkes."
• Variety: Hamentaschen have so many variations (prune, fig, jelly, apricot) while Latkes are burnt or not burnt
• Duration: Last time I checked you get 8 days of Latkes, and only 1 of Hamentashen (2 if you are in Jerusalem)
• Dressing: Latkes rely on apple sauce or Sour Cream for taste, while Hamentaschen can stand on their own.
• Taste: You be the Judge.

EXIT POLLS SAY.....