Trump Not Too Busy To Judge Miss Universe Contest

President-Elect Donald J. Trump, who recently said he was not too busy to be a co-producer of "The Apprentice" because "if George W. Bush and Bill Clinton could do this job, someone as bright as me can do it in half the time," said he would remain the producer of the "Miss Universe" contest, and be one of the judges.

The Miss Universe contest will be held on Earth in the Milky Way again this year as it has been from its inception, but will take place in Moscow for the first time.  A lucrative contract with Russian state television will replace the one with NBC that Trump lost early in the campaign.  Trump still watches NBC, at least the "Saturday Night Live" production that has created the first job of the Trump Administration's promise of millions of new jobs-- for Alec Baldwin to impersonate him.
"Ultimately, said Trump spokesweasel Kellyanne Conway (who put the "Con" back in "Conway" with a capital "C"), "Mr. Trump plans to create millions of jobs for Trump impersonators and angry talking heads of the right and left.  He said he'd create millions of jobs, he just didn't say they'd be paying jobs.  This should have been evident to the voting public if they followed what contractors who worked for him have said."

It is unclear how much Trump will profit personally from the Russian TV contract which is technically with his blind trust. The Russians are said to have paid a lot for the movie and paperback book rights to the contest. "This is in no way a conflict of interest," said Donald Trump Jr., president of the President Donald J. Trump Blind Trust; the charity whose motto is "Place your blind trust in President Donald Trump."  While President Trump is away at the contest, Assistant President Ivanka Trump will be in charge of the country in that newly created position in the Administration.  Her father chose her, he said, after an "Apprentice" like inter-family competition, because "her heart belongs to Daddy."

"We will have some really gorgeous girls in the contest-- tens at the very least," Trump said in a press conference in which he was to explain his business interests. "Not every Jenna, Talia, Pia or Kitty will qualify -- if you catch my drift, " he said  with a Cheshire Cat Smile.  Mr. Trump, a Porn Born Again Christian Entrepreneur, will be judging the dressing room portion of the competition that occurs off camera.

The leadership of the WNBA bowed to pressure and fined members of the New York Liberty who wore Black Lives Matter T shirts, and then, under pressure, recinded the fines.  The WNBA are a bunch of pussies.

Trump / Pence Eye Clean Renewable Energy Source: Harness Fapping

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ERRATA

Erotta

Errata

In a previous post we suggested that the tip jar on the counter at the deli was for foreskins.  We regret the error, but not as much as the cashier did when she encountered them.

With Trump's Name on It, Of Course

WARNING or (Click bait depending on you!) This post rated "R" for rant and for raunchy.

Some presidential campaigns have wooed voters with give-a-ways of useful items like fans, pens, mugs, sewing kits, combs, match boxes, and the like.  Donald Trump, looking for a way to woo women and environmentalists, has come up with the "biggest winner of all."  "The best presidential giveaway of all times" according to his beleaguered campaign staff.

Trump has promised to make women happier than Hillary Clinton would, and be the best president for women.  Now, promoting recycling that environmentalists champion, Trump has taken a clue from this commercial that seems ubiquitous on some cable channels:








Now Trump will offer former shampoo bottles that want to make women happy a unique opportunity.

The Trump campaign will be giving away (for only $9.95 postage and handling c/o The Trump Organization) this "really classy" recycled shampoo bottle made into a hairbrush that has an additional function that hairbrushes have been used for in private by women and girls to "make them smile" for years.

 Yes, it's the combined hairbrush and Donald Trump dildo, and it can be yours as a presidential campaign keepsake, a thoughtfully recycled environmentally friendly item, and a sex toy you can actually brush your hair with all in one --- only from The Trump Organization. (Just send $9.95 for shipping and handling).  The Trump Organization  -- selling America classy stuff with Trump's name on it for what seems like ages.

Mourning/Morning

The Days Go On

The days go on.
The days don’t care
What words you say
The days go on.

Another dawn
The days go on
When someone’s gone.

You will go on
After the dawn.
Although you’re there
The days don’t care.
Mourning/Morning   


The days go on.
The days don’t care
If someone close
Is no longer there.
The days go on.

The sky’s still blue
As blue as the ocean
As blue as you.
The days go one
As blue as eyes
The sky is grey
When someone dies
The days go on.

Texas Cheerleaders High Kick