Friday, January 4, 2008
Iowa in Perspectctive
Iowa is not the rest of the country people--so calm down. In 1988 Evangelical Pat Robertson was second ahead of George Bush with 25% of the vote--the most liberal of the Democrats, Dick Gephardt won on the Democratic side.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
On the Singing Beat--Turning the Beat Around
Speaking of turining the beat around, Britney Spears was deposed in LA today. We don't mean deposed as the Queen of Pop, since that was an abdication. We mean that the lawyers for Kevin Federline tried to question her in the pending child custody case. The name of her law firm (No kidding-- check out the Daily News website) is Trope and Trope. A trope is a play on words--so here goes. As the famous quotation from the Book of Isaiah (carved into the hall at the UN) says: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their Spears into pruning hooks." Look out Britney and Jamie Lynn--the lawyers are out to beat you (into pruning hooks) in court.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Send them registered male.
Did you hear that Paris Hilton registered for gifts from the sex offenders registry?
Electoral Shenanigains
President Musharraf has announced that he is seeking help to solve the Bhutto murder. He has called upon Scotland Yard to get famed detective Sherlock Holmes and Miss Marple to solve the mystery. If they're successful, he'll ask Law & Order D.A. Jack Mc Coy to prosecute the perps...The validity of the Kenyan vote counting process was called into question today when it was announced y the Kenyan Election Commission that incumbent president Mbeki had also won the Democratic caucus in Iowa.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Must See T.V.-- My "Knights of the Found Table."
am currently developing my Saturday morning cartoon show–“Knights of the Found Table.” It begins when one of the participants at the Arab-Israeli Oslo Accords curses the table at which the peace agreement is reached. The curse causes the table to make upsetting noises, and it is known as the “Groaning Table.” It gets discarded and set out on the curb as trash.
The table is found by beautiful Sierra Chubb, a young lady looking to reduce her carbon footprint (and furnish her apartment cheap) by recycling. The curse that was pronounced provided that the table would make mournful noises (it was a distressed table) until it was kissed by a princess (or other royalty) who truly wanted world peace. Sierra is a former beauty queen contestant–so, of course, she had said that what she wants most in life is world peace. In the Right to Life Beauty Contest she was crowned Miss Conception of 2007. She was so happy to find the table she kissed it, and was transformed into Opening Knight of the Found Table. Because the Found Table escaped a curse, it has magical powers, and attracts The Knights of the Found Table.
The Knights include:
Knight of the Iguana–Sir Richard (“Tim” ) Burton, formerly a V.A. Gardener, now turned adventurer;
Knight of the Living Dead–who is brain dead from watching too much T.V. but is unaware of his handicap;
Silent Knight–who never speaks because he has a space where his mouth should be (Also known as the Hole-y Knight);
Darkest Knight– an entertainer who always appears (on the bill) just before (Tony Orlando) and Dawn;
MidSummer’s Knight- the knight who’s seen only in your dreams–when you wish upon a star;
Bogie Knight–formerly known as the Disco Kid with his companion Pawn Cho--his squire, and the winner of the Squire Dubious Achievement Award of 2007,
Over Knight–A guest who comes to party at your place and never leaves;
Krystal Knight–a female knight from Germany who destroys things that are clear because she does not see;
Three Dog Knight–A descendant of Cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of Hades,-- this knight’s three heads are Old Shuck–the Hound of the Baskervilles, Lassie, and the head that actually speaks–Gidget, the Taco bell Chihuahua;
Election Knight–Who speaks in long, drawn out but predictable sentences, but whose predictions are sometimes hasty;
Twelfth Knight–The knight in the seat numbered 12 at the Found Table–the Siege Perilous, also known as the Hot Seat, because fellow knights often give its occupant a hot foot,
Knight of the Long Knives, a knight from Japan whose name is Ginzu,
Endless Knight–who got his sobriquet because of his curiously flat gluteus maximus,
and Tenderis, the Knight–the official photographer of the knight’s exploits, whose everyday identity is photographer “F Stop” Fitzgerald.
Stay tuned for their adventures.
The table is found by beautiful Sierra Chubb, a young lady looking to reduce her carbon footprint (and furnish her apartment cheap) by recycling. The curse that was pronounced provided that the table would make mournful noises (it was a distressed table) until it was kissed by a princess (or other royalty) who truly wanted world peace. Sierra is a former beauty queen contestant–so, of course, she had said that what she wants most in life is world peace. In the Right to Life Beauty Contest she was crowned Miss Conception of 2007. She was so happy to find the table she kissed it, and was transformed into Opening Knight of the Found Table. Because the Found Table escaped a curse, it has magical powers, and attracts The Knights of the Found Table.
The Knights include:
Knight of the Iguana–Sir Richard (“Tim” ) Burton, formerly a V.A. Gardener, now turned adventurer;
Knight of the Living Dead–who is brain dead from watching too much T.V. but is unaware of his handicap;
Silent Knight–who never speaks because he has a space where his mouth should be (Also known as the Hole-y Knight);
Darkest Knight– an entertainer who always appears (on the bill) just before (Tony Orlando) and Dawn;
MidSummer’s Knight- the knight who’s seen only in your dreams–when you wish upon a star;
Bogie Knight–formerly known as the Disco Kid with his companion Pawn Cho--his squire, and the winner of the Squire Dubious Achievement Award of 2007,
Over Knight–A guest who comes to party at your place and never leaves;
Krystal Knight–a female knight from Germany who destroys things that are clear because she does not see;
Three Dog Knight–A descendant of Cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of Hades,-- this knight’s three heads are Old Shuck–the Hound of the Baskervilles, Lassie, and the head that actually speaks–Gidget, the Taco bell Chihuahua;
Election Knight–Who speaks in long, drawn out but predictable sentences, but whose predictions are sometimes hasty;
Twelfth Knight–The knight in the seat numbered 12 at the Found Table–the Siege Perilous, also known as the Hot Seat, because fellow knights often give its occupant a hot foot,
Knight of the Long Knives, a knight from Japan whose name is Ginzu,
Endless Knight–who got his sobriquet because of his curiously flat gluteus maximus,
and Tenderis, the Knight–the official photographer of the knight’s exploits, whose everyday identity is photographer “F Stop” Fitzgerald.
Stay tuned for their adventures.
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